Neji’s Kitten Ch. 5

“I’m not kidding!” Lee yelled a Choji.

“Ya… sure,” Choji mumbled under a mouthful of chips.

“You say that like there’s something wrong with animals altogether,” Kiba growled, Akamaru chiming in with a “Ruff, ruff!.

“I never said that,” Choji said calmly.

“Where the hell is Neji anyway?! It’s 6:30!” Naruto yelled, pacing by the door. “You gave him the right time, didn’t you, Bushy Brows?”

“I bet he told him that it was tomorrow night or something,” Sasuke mumbled before Lee could reply.

“I did not!” Lee retorted. “I told him tonight at 6:00!”

Just then there was a knock at the door. Naruto, Lee, and Kiba jumped up to get it while Sasuke, Shikamaru, Shino, and Choji just watched without getting up.

Everyone’s jaw dropped as Naruto opened the door and they saw Neji.

The bag he was holding had a ripped handle and the bag itself was scratched all over. His legs were not only scratched, but had bite marks on his left ankle, which were bleeding. His arms were no better off and one side of his face had claw marks in it; the marks on his forehead were bleeding. The top of his hair was a mess, and Neji himself looked like he had something shoved way up his ass. But that was not what they were staring at. On Neji’s left shoulder lay a white and beige kitten.

“Hi…” Neji said slowly, noticing the seven flabbergasted stares that he was getting, “Sorry I was late…”

“Dude! What is that!?!” Naruto screamed, his eyes wide as the kitten cocked her head at him.

Sasuke silently got up and pushed his way to the front of the group at the door. He stared at the kitten with narrowed eyes. When Gingerale let out a “mew” in greeting, he stood up strait and slowly poked her ear. She shook her head quickly and pulled herself back on to Neji’s shoulder as she slid off. Sasuke gasped and jumped back. “Oh my god! It’s alive!”

“I told you it was real! I wasn’t lying! Now give me my five bucks!” Lee yelled.

Sasuke mumbled a curse under his breath and pulled a five-dollar bill out of his pocket and stuffed it into Lee’s hand.

Neji smacked his forehead and sighed. “Listen, you guys, I didn’t want to bring her, okay? She wouldn’t let me leaver her home.”

Naruto burst out laughing. “S-so all these scratches and the bites on your ankle are from a little girl kitty that attacked you because it wanted to come with you!?” he was choking out the words over his laughter.

Neji grinded his teeth and his face turned red with anger, but as he opened his mouth to retort Gingerale bristled viciously, stood up growling, and spat fiercely at Naruto. Neji smirked as Naruto jumped back.

Akamaru, who had been lying next to Shino, suddenly jumped up and ran to Kiba’s feet, barking at the cat. Gingerale looked down at him and cooed, and then she jumped off Neji’s shoulder and landed squarely in front of Akamaru. He immediately stopped barking and cocked his head. The kitten let out an excited “mreow” and walked into the house. As she walked by the dumbfounded dog she wrapped her long tail around his neck loosely, signaling for him to follow her. He trotted after her with his tail in the air.

The boys watched in amazement. Kiba’s jaw dropped as he watched his dog follow the cat. He slowly turned to Neji, his eyes wide with utter shock. “Your cat just seduced Akamaru!”

Neji blinked.

“…”

“Akamaru hates cats!”

Neji chuckled. “She’s not your normal everyday cat, I guess,” he replied calmly, walking through the crowd and sitting down.

Shikamaru stared at Neji for a moment, then sighed and leaned back in the beanbag chair that he was sitting in. “So what kinda of troublesome game do you have planned for us, Naruto?” he asked lazily.

Naruto snickered and rubbed his hands together evilly. “Truth or dare!”

There was a long dramatic pause.

“All right! Me first! Me first! Please, Naruto-kun?” Lee begged, rocking around on the ground like an excited little girl.

“No!” Naruto yelled. “It’s my house, I go first!” With that his eyes narrowed as he scanned the small crowd for his victim. “Lee! Truth or dare!”

Lee smiled. “Dare!”

“Okay…” Naruto looked thoughtful. “I dare you to… streak on the city square!”

Lee stared blankly for a moment before shrugging and standing up. “Alright,” he said as he got up and walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

The other seven boys were silent as they waited, not sure what to expect. They began to exchange anxious glances, until Lee walked out of the bathroom…

…But naked.

Choji chocked on his chips. Sasuke started twitching uncontrollably.  Naruto screamed like a girl and covered his eyes. Kiba squeezed his eyes tight and yelled demands to “put it back on!!!” Shino’s glasses fell right off his face, revealing huge horrified dark brown eyes. Shikamaru started hyperventilating. Neji slammed his shaking head on the ground mumbling, “notagain notagain, ohpleaseno notagain!”

“Do you want I should not do the bet?” Lee yelled over all the commotion.

“Yes!” Naruto screamed, his eyes beginning to water. “You won the dare! Just put your clothes back on!”

Lee nodded, a smile of triumph on his face, and he quickly went back into the bathroom.

Most of the boys calmed down almost at once, except for Sasuke, who’s hand continued to twitch violently, and Shikamaru, who had to manually slow down his breathing.

When Gingerale saw Sasuke she left her spot next to Akamaru, where she had been kneading his ears (he was enjoying the massage and was upset when it ended) and began purring. When he looked down at her with a blank stare she began kneading his twitching hand until it stopped. Sasuke smiled slightly as the twitching stopped, and rubbed the kitten’s head. In return she purred louder and curled up in his lap, where she continued to knead his legs.

Lee walked out of the bathroom, now fully dressed, and sat down. “All right! My turn!” he said excitedly as he scanned over the crowd and quickly made his decision. “Sasuke! I dare you to throw the kitty out the window!”

Neji flinched and gritted his teeth.

Sasuke, who had been petting Gingerale, jumped at his name and glared at Lee. “I never decided of truth or dare!… And I pick truth,” he added as he looked down at the purring kitten in his lap.

Lee looked crestfallen for only a moment before he had his question.  “Who would you rather kiss… Sakura or Ino?”

Sasuke looked thoughtful for a moment as everyone leaned in to hear his response. “Sakura without doubt. Ino would use her tongue. And I don’t want that.” After a short and very awkward pause Sasuke continued. “It’s my turn… Shino. Truth or dare?”

Shino didn’t move as he answered plainly, “Truth.”

Sasuke smiled evilly. “Okay, Shino… would you rather do it with Hinata or Ino?”

Shino’s face turned red. “I’m not inclined to answer that,” he mumbled quickly.

“Ya, Sasuke,” Naruto said, “Don’t ask questions like that! It’s just wrong!”

Sasuke scowled and Shino’s face slowly turned back to its normal color.  “Fine. Kiba. Truth or dare?”

Kiba smirked. “Dare.”

Sasuke smiled evilly once again. “I dare you to make out with that pillow-” he pointed to the pillow Akamaru was sitting on “-and pretend it’s Ino.”

Kiba gagged and looked at the pillow in disgust, then reluctantly slid it out from under a very agitated Akamaru and proceeded to make out with it, saying “Oh, Ino!” again and again. After about thirty seconds, he threw the pillow onto Akamaru and gagged some more.

Gingerale hopped off Sasuke’s lap (to his displeasure) and climbed into Kiba’s. When he gave her a disgusted look she purred and climbed onto his shoulder and licked his cheek. Kiba blushed, but refused to smile.

Neji chuckled. “I think my cat just ‘seduced’ you,” he mocked, watching Gingerale sit comfortably on Kiba’s shoulder. Akamaru whined.

Kiba glared at the Hyuuga. “I’m a natural dog person. Some ball of fluff on my shoulder aint gonna change that.”

Gingerale laughed in the only way a cat could.

The challenge was accepted.

“All right! It’s my turn!” Kiba said. “…Shikamaru. Truth or dare?”

Shikamaru sighed uninterestedly. “Truth…”

Gingerale wrapped her tail around Kiba’s neck as far as it would go and put her muzzle to his ear. As she whispered to him things that only they could understand, Kiba’s expressing contorted from. shock, to surprise, to mischief, and he leaned in closer. Finally the kitten pulled away. “Creative,” he mumbled before saying, “Clouds or virginity?”

Shikamaru sat bolt up, a look of complete confusion on his face. “What!?!?!”

Kiba smirked. “Which would you rather have for the rest of you life… clouds or virginity?”

Everybody leaned in.

Shikamaru’s eye twitched. “Um…clouds…?”

All the boys burst out laughing, except for Shikamaru, who still looked confused as hell, Choji, who wasn’t the least bit surprised with the answer, and Kiba, who glanced at Gingerale with a smile.

And with that, the kitten had won the challenge.

Gingerale leapt off Kiba’s shoulder and casually walked up to Shino. She sat and watched her reflection in his glasses, and he in turn stared down at her silently. Her tail began to swish, and she suddenly propelled herself upwards and tried to grab his face. He gasped loudly and fell backward with a loud thump.

Everyone slowly turned to watch as Shino pulled himself back off the ground and glared down at Gingerale. Bugs slowly began to crawl from the holes in his neck.

Neji, guessing what would happen if those bugs were to get to his cat, dove forward and scooped her up. Bugs began to crawl onto his hands and he tried to shake them off, failing miserably. He glared at Shino and pulled himself back, bugs still clinging to his fingers. They soon fell of and crawled back to Shino, and Gingerale curled up in Neji’s lap and fell asleep.

“Stupid cat…” Shino grumbled, crossing his arms.

Neji glared at him harder. The thought of those bugs eating Gingerale alive mixed with the memory of the sound nin’s arms exploding at the Chunnin exams, and his anger grew.

He finally dragged his gaze off Shino and watched the kitten’s chest rise and fall as she breathed. He scratched behind her ears, and she purred loudly and stretched.

This was when he realized that every single person in the room was silently staring at him.

“Stupid useless cat,” Shino mumbled again.

“Neji!” Lee said, “I just realized that that you never told us your kitty’s name! What is it?”

Neji paused. He suddenly realized that a great deal of his dignity had already been shredded here; a little more wouldn’t hurt. He sighed. “Her name is… Gingerale.”

Naruto snorted, holding back a laugh. “Ginger- ale!? Like the fizzy drink!? AHAHAHAHA!!” within seconds he was laughing so hard his eyes were watering.

Before Neji knew that she was gone, Gingerale had leapt out of his lap and had clamped onto Naruto’s wrist with her jaws.

Naruto yelped in pain and grabbed Gingerale’s ear. He tugged in a desperate attempt to free himself, only causing a trickle of blood to run into his palm, and her ear easily slipped out of his grasp.

At this point Neji was laughing so hard he couldn’t breath. It wasn’t long before everyone else was in stitches too, and the harder they laughed the more Naruto panicked.

“Get it off!” Naruto screeched. “Get it off! Please! I’ll never insult it again! I promise! Just make it let go!”

“Fine, fine.” Neji gasped, trying to catch his breath. “Gingerale!” he called, “Gingerale, let go! He’s learned his lesson! Let go!”

Gingerale slowly pulled her fangs out of Naruto’s skin and happily trotted back to Neji, licking the blood off her lips. She sat in front of him with a look that clearly asked, “Did I do good?” He laughed and raised her into his lap.

Naruto gripped his wrist as it oozed blood. He got up and walked into the kitchen, where he wrapped it in gauze. “L-let’s not play this anymore,” he whined, still gripping his wrist.

No one really agreed, but no one declined either. There was a five-minute pause… and then the silence was broken.

“What do we do now?” Choji asked, putting down his chips for once.

“Um…” Naruto mumbled, still concentrated on the pain in his wrist. “I dunno…”

“Why don’t we tell stories?” Shikamaru suggested slowly and unsurely.

There was a reluctant murmur of agreement, and the boys spent the rest of the night telling crappy versions of Bloody Mary, Mary Sue, and other ridiculous ghost stories.

By 6:00 in the morning, the room had gotten very drowsy. Shikamaru was asleep in the beanbag chair. Shino was sitting hunched over, and the only way anyone could tell if he was asleep was when his glasses fell off his face. Choji was on his back, snoring. Kiba had his head in his hand and was desperately trying to keep his eyes open. Sasuke was leaning against a wall with his arms crossed and his eyes closed… everyone just assumed he was asleep. Neji was sprawled out on a blanket, mumbling something about cheese in his sleep. Naruto had curled up into a little ball around his bitten wrist and was now asleep. Lee was blinking as quickly as he could to try to stay awake. And Gingerale was sprawled out on her back with her paw on Akamaru’s forehead…they were both asleep.

Within five minutes everyone in the room was so deep in sleep they could have been mistaken as dead.